My Take on the Classics of Entertainment
Updated 7/17/05
Comic Strips
This is what it's like when you live with children under the age of 10. When you decide to have children you forfeit any hopes of ever having a clean house.
Someone was thinking of me when they wrote this. The only difference is that I would probably make some lemonade to go with my sandwich.
Am I the only one who has actually done this before?
TV Shows
Sitcoms
Family Matters
I loved this show up until the last season and a half. They replaced Harriett with an AWFUL mom who didn't fit the role AT ALL, and all the sexual tension jokes got old.
Seeing Steve's persistence in chasing Laura makes me believe that I really do have a shot with Alicia Keys.
Alicia, I'm wearing you down baby.
Fresh Prince
The best thing about this show was the cutdowns. I've never heard better short jokes and fat jokes in my entire life. I've always thought I sorta favored Will Smith, especially when I had a high top fade like the jacked-up one he's sporting in this photo. In recent years, I've been told that I more resemble Carlton. Ouch.
Cosby Show
Best sitcom ever. Seinfeld and The Simpsons can't hold a candle to it (yeah that's right, I said it). Everyone loved the Cosby's, both young and old and black and white, and all stories and jokes were completely clean. The show was pretty darn funny too.
I have finally, but reluctantly come to terms with my similarity to Theo Huxtable. Yes, I do kinda talk and act like him. If you wondering what I'm talking about, there is an episode where he gets kicked outta his apartment for throwing suds on the floor of his kitchen, tying a sponge to his butt, and gliding around to clean it. His experiment leaks into an apartment below and he gets evicted. Those of you who remember my shower escapade (Operation SOGGYBOTTOM) can see the obvious similarities. The only difference is that if our experiment had leaked I don't have rich parents to fall back on. (Obviously I would be forced to blame it all on Randall).
Saved by the Bell
If you forget that the acting was bad, the plots were unrealistic, and that the show had two REALLY bad sequels, Saved By The Bell brings back some of the fondest sitcom memories ever. It's really funny to see how many shows have tried to duplicate it (California Dreams, Hangtime, City Guys) but nobody ever made it work like Zack and the gang.
It's kinda sad that none of these actors went on to accomplish much. As for those bad sequels, I am still thoroughly convinced that The College Years failed because they didn't have a token black person.
Cartoons
The Tick
Transformers
Not only is Transformers the best non-anime action cartoon ever, it spawned one of the most successful toy lines in history.That said, it has always bothered me that a 30-foot tall robot like Megatron could tranform into a 12-inch long hand gun. Ridiculous. It also bothered me that Optimus Prime's trailer would always magically disappear and re-appear when he went from a robot to an 18-wheeler.
Those few flaws aside, this may be my favorite TV show of all time.
Dragonball Z
Dragonball Z is not like Yu-Gi-Oh, Pokemon, DigiMon, Saruman, or any of the other ridiculous anime shows you see on tv these days. Although its plot is every bit as dumb as it is on those shows, (which all involve collecting some group of objects which bad guys will use to take over the world) this is still the best action cartoon in the history of television. Although it annoys the crud outta you to sit and watch as the bad guy and the good guy do nothing but stare at each other for 3 straight episodes, once the action starts you are glued to your seat.
Pinky & the Brain
So this is definitely one of the most quotable cartoons of the 90s. My favorite episode is the one where Brain creates a paper mache earth (which he calls "Chia Earth") and convinces everyone to visit it for free tee-shirts so that he can take over the real one. As soon as he does, the real earth is destroyed by a meteorite. My second fave is the one where Pinky sends the Brain to "Megalomaniacs Anonymous" where he gets support from other people bent on taking over the world such as Saddam Hussein, Madonna, and Michael Jackson. It's a great example of the show's intelligent humor.
Life with Louie
This show was a "day-in-the-life" account of wisecracking Louie Anderson at age 8. It's kinda like "Boy Meets World" fused together with "Recess."
If you're a sarcastic person you would love this show. Louie is hilarious and his dad is every bit as crazy as Homer Simpson. This show only ran for a couple years but between Louie's "whoa is me" humor and his dad's untimely flashbacks to WWII you end up laughing your head off.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
I hardly need to say anything about this show. To set the record straight though, Raphael is by far the funniest character on the TV show although he's a jerk in the movies. Leonardo may be the best fighter in the cartoon, but Donatello is the man on ANY Ninja Turtles video game. And I ask all of you to ponder this...if not for Michelangelo, would any of know what a nunchuck is?
Duck Tales/Talespin/Chip n' Dale's Rescue Rangers
I always kinda think of these shows together because they used to come on back-to-back but I like Talespin the best b/c I wanted to be Kit Cloudkicker (can't beat the sky surfboard). If you compare this show to its distant relative, "The Jungle Book" you will notice a lot of similarities between Baloo's relationship with Kit and his relationship with Mowgli.
My only complaints with DuckTales are that the movie was dissapointing and to this day I still can't tell Huey, Duey, and Louie apart.
Rescue Rangers was a great and if you go back and watch the show, I swear every one of Gadget's inventions involved a safety pin or an empty spool of thread.
Popeye
Popeye is the man. I'm sure as a sailor he wasn't a very moral hero, but that just makes him that much more hardcore. I know that every episode is pretty much the same but I can't help watching to see what creative way he comes up with to kick Bluto's sorry mustache-wearing butt all over that black & white screen. I would love to see Popeye in a fight with Jackie Chan. I bet somehow Jackie would use the spinach can and Popeye's anorexic twig of a girlfriend, Olive Oyl, as weapons. What a great fight that could be.
Recess
If you watch this show for more than 5 minutes, I guarantee that you will see yourself in one of the characters. There are the prissy girls (the Ashley's), the swingers, the diggers, the tattletale kid (Randall), the athletic kid (Vince), the braniac kid (Gretchen), the fat kid (Mikey), the bully (Lawson), and best of all, the savage and untamed Kindergartners.
The way the show portrays kids is hilariously realistic (although slightly exagerrated) because you can look back and remember what kids played those roles back on your playground. I think that is what I love about it so much. I was trying to remember what role I was on the playground and it was obvious...I was King Bob. (Ok so that's a lie, but at least I wasn't Cornchip Girl).
Movies
The Mask of Zorro
Who doesn't like this movie? A playboy hero, a solid plot, good action and a damsel in distress who's a drop-dead KNOCKOUT. The best part of the movie has to be the burning "Z" outside the don's villa .... or Catherine Zeta-Jones. Did I mention she's in this movie?
The Karate Kid
This used to be one of four movies my grandparents owned (the other 3 being Karate Kid II, Gone with the Wind, and The Ten Commandments). That said, I have probably seen this movie over 100 times, and I'm being dead serious. It spawned one good sequel (part II), one stupid sequel (part III) and one that was ok, but just didn't need to be made (The Next Karate Kid).
I'm not sure if this is an all-time fave because of it's merit or my lack of options at the time, but I love it even though the ending is predictable and the swooping crane isn't a real move.
Star Wars
Best Trilogy EVER. Best movie scores ever. Watching them has always made me wish that I could force push objects and choke people out without touching them. One day when I have kids, I'm considering naming my first boy Yoda, and my first daughter Leia. If not then I am sure my wife will go for my second choice, the unisex name Chewbacca.
Lord of the Rings
What sold me on this series was Legolas. What a stud. I am proud to say that I actually read the books, and despite the incredibly boring stretches of the first book (it includes like 200+ pages [of small print] of the heroes walking through the woods), and random made-up languages that Tolkien throws in without translation, its still one of the best books I've ever read. With that said, I can tolerate such shortcomings in the movies as long as there is an ample dose of butt-kicking going on. Well done Peter Jackson.
Sandlot
My son (Yoda or Chewbacca) WILL see this movie before age 12 (it's like a preresquisite for manhood.) The one thing I do wonder about is why to this day I've never been able to find a pair of PF Flyers. It's like they don't exist. If those shoes do what they say, then I'm gonna get like 10 pairs and try to join the And 1 team.
Back to the Future
Michael J. Fox was flat out cool in these movies. And I mean cool in the way Usher is cool now. Even his name is cool.
Aside from the interesting but confusing plot, the Delorean was amazing (I think it was the cockpit doors). And though I have to admit I've never actually seen one in real life, I've always wanted one. I'm starting to think that they may be in the same category as PF Flyers; they may not actually exist. That said, I think Doc Brown should work for MTV's "Pimp My Ride."
Jungle Book
I think this may have the best music of any Disney movie, and if you disagree, you're probably a fan of Aladdin, Robin Hood, or the Little Mermaid. The x-factor here though is Baloo, because he's not only catchy, he's cool. Best of all, the Jungle Book led to the creation of Talespin, one of my favorite Disney cartoons.
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